Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
