Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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