I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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