I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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