I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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