How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
