I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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