hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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