halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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