I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
