at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
