Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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