i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
jump out the window naked night went bad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
