You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
