I wish I could teleport
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize