cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize