You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
