So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
