from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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