i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
