I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize