fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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