just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So much rum. So many feels.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
