On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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