the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize