no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
