it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
