The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Vodka?
Forever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
