I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Small penises have feelings too.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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