I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
