i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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