You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
