Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
