I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
