Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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