It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
