I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
