apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
