Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
