I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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