Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
