so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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