Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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