is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
