Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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