I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
