how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize