You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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