i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
