I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
