no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
