i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
