I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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