We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
