***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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