I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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