Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love having hate sex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
