mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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