none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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