he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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