I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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