Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
