Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
