...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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